-Toaplan (1992)



The Story

The robots have run amuck and the Gold Guardian has stolen your wallet. It’s your mission to kick his ass and get it back. Since you’re flying around up there anyway, you might as well take out the entire robot population. You will control the Dog ship and your wingman will pilot the Yuun. When you’re in need of an extra boost in confidence, shout, “Dogyuun combine! Go!” and bring the two ships together to dispose of those crazy contraptions. Show those rabblerousing robots the ultimate power of your laser fueled manhood. My, you are a big boy.     


My Thoughts

You see that screen shot to the left? That is your main weapon in Dogyuun, a laser schlong burst of mammoth proportions. It’s not always so big, but when your wingman’s ship mounts yours it grows bigger, stronger, and shoots further with a constant stream of deadly lust. That was hilarious the first time I saw that and is still really funny now. If you’re playing two-players you can have the two ships combine to give you a huge boost in weapon power. You use a Galaga like capture beam to grab the other ship and combine with it. This gives you a tremendous boost in your weapon power.

So, why bother just playing this game single player? Just start up the second player ship and capture it right away. The game will become a lot easier with your dual uber-ship (and enlarged man-laser). You can capture enemies with the beam too, but there’s no point in it because you can’t actually do anything with the enemies except let them go. You see that big robot featured on the title screen? You won’t actually see it until the last level. You collect a robot power-up and get giant ass-kicking robot armor for some rock ‘em sock ‘em robot action. This robot is huge. It takes up over a third of the screen. Unfortunately, all you can do is punch. Throw a right, a left, right, left right, left, over and over. Your fisticuffs will only last a couple minutes as you only get to knock around two big robots and a few small fighters. I don’t understand why the armor is featured so prominently on the title screen when it’s only in a small section of the last level. The armor also disappears when you reach the final boss, so there isn’t an epic boxing clash to save the world.

The enemies are a mixed bag. Some enemies look cool and there are some good bosses like a robo street cleaner thing, the gold winged guardian, and what appears to be the robot version of Death. However, there are plenty of boring old cookie cutter enemies, and the other three bosses aren’t that great. Also the gold guardian boss is featured in the opening cinema and at the beginning of the first stage, but you destroy it at the end of stage two. You’d think an enemy that gets so much screen time would be one of the last bosses you’d fight. 

Besides your main weapon of a constant blue discharge stream that oddly throbs in size, you get a green lighting gun (?), and two metal-seeking beams in orange and pink flavors. The combiner action is neat and Dogyuun scores with the hilarious wang weapon, but it needed some better enemy types and better use of the robo-armor.      

Score: 7.5












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