Freaked

-Anchor Bay (1993)

Summary

No, it’s not called Freaked because Randy Quaid is in it.

My Thoughts

If you’ve never heard of this film, then let me be the first to introduce you into the world of Freaked. It can only be described as an insane film with the plot only existing as a delivery method for the comedy, much like a bagel is a delivery mechanism for cream cheese. This works for the confines of this type of film, however. Freaked's (?) style is similar to that of other great wacky adventures, like Airplane and the Naked Gun series. You’ll either love it or hate it. I love it and you should too.

Freaked begins when ex-child star Ricky Coogan, portrayed by Alex Winter who also co-wrote the film, becomes the spokesman for EES’s (the everything except shoes corporation) toxic chemical. Once Ricky flies to the country of Santa Flan (named after the patron of creamy deserts) with his highly annoying friend Ernie to promote the toxic chemical, they are greeted by protesters that hate Coogan’s guts. The lead protester is a young blonde woman named Julie, played by Megan Ward. I don’t know what it is about Ward, but I’ve always thought she was volcano hot. I think it’s because her down to Earth good looks remind me of Melissa Joan Hart. Man, I used to have the biggest crush on… uh… never mind. The unlikely trio* end up riding off together into the jungles of Santa Flan after some shenanigans and an outdated Christian Slater joke.

Freaked doesn’t really get rolling until they make a pit stop at Freakland, an oddly located freak show. Freakland is owned and operated by Elijah C. Skuggs. Skuggs is portrayed by Randy Quaid in perhaps Mr. Quaid’s only non-annoying role ever. I’d even say that Randy Quaid is balls out awesome in Freaked, as he provides most of the truly hilarious lines. Believe me, you’ll never think of the phrase, “I think you crushed mine spine” in the same non-funny way again. Like all good bad guys worth their weight, Elijah traps our heroes and turns them into freaks for his park. Who would have guessed that would happen? This leads our heroes to gather with the other park freaks and escape or die trying. I'll let you enjoy the rest for yourself.

One of the great things about Freaked is that this film is fatter than a bloated tick with minor league celebrities, if ticks were somehow equated with being bloated with celebrities. It’s a virtual who’s who of has-beens and almost-beens. You’ve got Brooke Shields, Bob Goldthwait, Morgan Fairchild, Lee Arenberg (famous for having his thumbs broken by Jerry Seinfeld in one of that show’s best episodes. Oh yeah, he was also in both Pirates of the Caribbean movies), Larry “Bud” Melman, and the dude that was the scientist in My Secret Identity. Okay, now I’m really stretching, but I really loved that show. Alex Winter is most famous for being the other guy in the Bill and Ted films. Along with William Sadler, who played Death in the Bill and Ted sequel, and Keanu Reeves who appears unaccredited as the Dog Boy (crazy, hey?) you get a nice little Bill and Ted’s: Bogus Journey reunion. To make it even sweeter, since the film is written in part by Winter, there’s some great jokes at the expense of the Bill and Ted phenomena.

The last time I had seen this film was about ten years ago, so I was worried that it wouldn’t hold up to the greatness I remembered. This was not the case, the film is better than ever now. Of course, some of the jokes have become pretty dated, like the Christian Slater mention or especially the cameo by Larry “Bud” Melman. Does anyone remember that guy, or more importantly, should anyone remember this guy? Regardless, Freaked is still hilarious with its sharp sense of humor and lovingly small scale feel.

This edition isn’t too shabby when it comes to the technical details with the audio mix rocking hard as it punches out the hard rock songs found on the soundtrack. I couldn’t complain too much about the picture quality as it was better than I expected it to be.

Extras

The version I have of this DVD is rather odd as the cover consists of a photo mosaic of characters from the film and doesn't have a title on the jacket. I really didn’t know what I was getting until I unwrapped the cellophane, which is one weird way to market a DVD. I also find it odd that I can't find this version anywhere on the web. The Amazon.com version has a different cover with the same features. Confused yet? I am.

What you get is a rather well put together two disc special edition. There’s also a nifty little booklet inside that gives some dubious Freaked trivia, at best.

Disc One:

If you’re a fan of Freaked, you really have to listen to the commentary track. It’s pretty insightful, I didn’t know that Mr. T basically walked off set one day never to return. I pity the fool who thinks he's too big for a small budget comedy.

There’s a decent trailer and two deleted scenes that are simply hilarious. The production art is a nice bonus to this edition. Last, but not least is a screenplay for the film in PDF format. What is really great about it are some alternate moments that aren’t in the film, like a clown that gets dunked in an acid filled dunk tank.

Disc Two:

“Freaked the Rehearsal Version” is one of the strangest extra’s I’ve seen in a long time. It’s a read through of the entire film by most of the cast. I don’t know anyone who’d want to watch the whole film like this, but it does contain dialogue from cut lines and scenes for any die hard fan of Freaked.

“There are No Weirdos Here!” is even more rehearsal stuff, this time focusing more on the cut scenes.

“It’s the Troll!” is… uh, even more rehearsal footage this time focusing on the parts with Stewie.

“Under Construkshen” is more rehearsal footage… just kidding. It’s some behind the scenes footage of the building of the Freakland set.

“Behold the Beast Boy” shows the application of the Beast Boy makeup. It’s really great to watch simply to count how many mullets you see on the effects crew.

“Two Short Films by Tom Stern and Alex Winter” are two short films that are completely and utterly insane. It’s hard to believe that Freaked seems kind of toned down compared to them.

Score:

Film: 8.5

Extras: 8.0

Edition: 8.5

-Paul

*This is the first time I’ve used the overused phrase, “unlikely trio.” Please, celebrate this with me.