Onimusha's Tale of Spider-Ninjas

Spider-ninjas are no threat to a master samurai when he's driving the brand new Mitsubishi Galant.

Onimusha fans have been itching for more details on the film adaptation of the highly regarded game series (the first three at least). We already know that Takeshi Kaneshiro is reprising his role as Samanosuke, it's being directed by Christophe Gans, and it should being shooting in April. Now, ComingSoon.net has the plot synopsis for the Onimusha movie. What you're about to read may seem a little ridiculous, but it really isn't as bad as it may sound.

"In feudal Japan, 1582, the warlord Nobunaga is ambushed by ninjas, led by the brave samurai Samanosuke. Trapped, Nobunaga commits seppuku, but two sinister sorcerers reanimate Nobunaga's corpse with a half-human insect larvae. The resurrected Nobunaga orders the capture of two very special women to fulfill his evil plans.

"When Britta, the daughter of a Dutch merchant, is abducted on board a ship by seemingly invincible warriors, her tutor and confidant Jacob pursues her captors, vowing to rescue her at all costs. Meanwhile, the beautiful Princess Yuki is also kidnapped, this time by ninjas that reveal themselves, incredibly, to be part spider. In search of Yuki, Samanosuke joins forces with Jacob to vanquish their common foe. In the Cave of Elders, he receives a magical sword that will slay all within its reach—friend or foe—and learns of a sinister ceremony at Inabayama Castle intended to blot out the sun.

***Possible movie spoilers in next paragraph***

"Performing a dangerous, stealthy invasion of the castle, Samanosuke and Jacob find the women they love dressed as Moon Princess and Daughter of the Sun, ready to be wed to and ravished by Nobunaga. Aided by their allies, the two warriors attack the insectoid hordes, but Samanosuke falls in battle, seemingly dead. In a mystical encounter, he is given the option to survive and fight—but it comes at a terrible cost..."

Now, let's examine the major points of this latest Onimusha tale. It has Nobunaga, the main villain of the Onimusha series. He is resurrected by demons in games, but I guess evil sorcerers with insect larva are potent enough for reviving dead warlords. It looks like he has a grand scheme to blot out the sun that will probably doom mankind should he succeed. Princess Yuki (from the first Onimusha) is kidnapped by ninjas, but not just any ninjas, no, they're spider-ninjas. The Onimusha games have plenty of demon-esque enemies and spider-ninjas actually aren't too far off. I just wonder if the spider-ninjas have eight limbs or just scary-ass faces with sticky web-spitting action. In a move to obviously give the movie a greater appeal to westerners, a Dutchman and woman have been added to the story.

You may question the addition of some white guy to the story but think about this; Remember how incredibly ridiculous the story for Onimusha 3 sounded when you first heard it? If you don't know, in Onimusha 3 Nobunaga unleashed an evil scheme that included Feudal Japan and modern day Paris. Not only did Samanosuke (Takeshi Kaneshiro) have to travel through time and space to fight Nobunaga, but so did Frenchman Jacques Blanc (played by Jean Reno). When I first heard it I thought it would be terrible, but you know what? The crazy plot worked beautifully. If by some luck of fate that Reno actually ends up playing the Dutchman in the movie then it won't matter how strange the plot is: the movie will just rock.

Don't let the story worry you. I have a feeling the movie will turn out well enough. Christophe Gans' direction on Silent Hill made it the best video game to movie adaptation and I'm sure he'll do just fine with Onimusha. That and Takeshi Kaneshiro.

- Shawn - 11/07/07