Pachinko Sexy Reaction

-Sammy (2004)

 

Summary

Hot and sexy Pachinko action, just like your Mom used to enjoy.

My Thoughts

"Fever Go!" Roughly translates to, "Boobs Ahoy!"

In the quest for MAME arcade ROMs you can come across some pretty insane stuff. Those Japanese have some peculiar tastes and their selection of crazy arcade games is no different. Pachinko Sexy Reaction is a reminder that the Japanese are both really horny and insane. The game, of course, is a computerized pachinko game. Pachinko, for the uninitiated, is a cross between a slot machine and pinball and it requires no skill whatsoever to play. The game never really caught on in the US like it has in Japan, maybe because we like our gambling that takes no skill to be focused more on a slot machine format. In any case, Pachinko Sexy Reaction takes the game of Pachinko and bumps it up a notch by adding explosions, all kinds of beeping, flashing, and of course, naked anime girls.

Its obvious that the Japanese have a imaginative view of the female form.

From the opening screen you know what you’re in for. A Sailor Moon like girl gives you some directions. Unfortunately, I can’t read Japanese, but this is what I figured out: Firstly, you put quarters in the machine. Secondly, you adjust how fast or how slow the balls you want to shoot out (this is even optional until much later in the game). Thirdly, you push the ball release button a billion times. Finally, you keep buying more balls with your quarter supply. The rest is all explosions and some anime girl either cheering you on or hoping you lose, because either way if you do well you get to see her naked. As for the game play, the thousands of balls drop down into holes giving you points and the screen flashes a lot. Sometimes you get to activate the slot machine like wheels in the center and hope you get something good, but most of the time I had no idea what I was hoping for. I got four 7s on the slot once and all the little pachinko balls had yellow circles on them. I don’t know what kind of a bonus the yellow circle meant, since the game played exactly the same as it did only minutes earlier. Some balls have skulls on them, which clearly indicated evilness. Those balls would ruin what I could only describe as “your little scoring things.” All I know is that when some Japanese girl screamed “Fever Go!” it wasn’t long before I’d see some distorted image of what a “woman” looks like in the minds of a horny Japanese programmer. I also didn’t understand the concept of “Fever Go!” because sometimes I’d have several rounds before I got to the payoff and at other times it was only two rounds. I’m assuming it was due to the balls dropping in better places, but who knows?

Uh oh, the acorns are really throbbing now!

There are quite a few girls you force to get naked for you, and I feel bad for the Japanese gamer that wanted to see them all. If I hadn’t been using MAME I would have easily dropped a couple of hundred quarters in the machine to try to beat the damn thing. The setup to hook you into playing is fairly simple. Each girl has a couple of different outfits, with the first being the least sexy. To encourage you to put more quarters or yen or whatever in the machine they get smaller and sexier (this is Sexy Reaction after all) until they wearing garments that consists of straps or no garments at all. The way the girls react when you buy more balls is also hilarious. Sometimes they clap and cheer and other times, disturbingly enough, they cry. That’s one thing about Japanese porn I never got, why is it such a turn on that all the women seem like they are getting raped?

This is how I imagine my death.

After what seemed like hours of hitting a combination of the quarter button, buying more balls button, and the shooting the balls button I got through about two of the girls. When I thought I had the game down pat, it through me for a loop by giving me more instructions that I couldn’t possibly understand. Apparently the game board had changed and I was in for trouble, if the bass lines playing were any indication. Oh boy! I knew I was in for sexy trouble! At this point the game played the same except for when the balls dropped through the middle these two big acorns would throb. It made me feel kind of weird each time I saw these acorns throbbing and shaking, and I wondered what they were really supposed to represent. Now it became a power struggle. It was about 10 times harder to try and win the “Fever Go” rounds. It wasn’t until I messed around with the controls did I figure out how to shoot the balls to the other side of the screen and wiped that smirk of the girls face. What’s ultra disturbing at this point is that the game is bordering on rape. I mean the girl obviously doesn’t want you to win, freaks out when you put quarters in, and is not a happy camper when she’s got to take her clothes off. One wonders why women in Japan get such disrespect. I also got the creeps when I realized that this girl was a lot less busty and a lot shorter than the previous girls. It made me wonder what age she must have been

"Please don't look at me or touch me Mr. Dirty Man."

After showing her up, I got some other girl wanting to take me down. I assume this is the plot since I don’t read Japanese, mind you. All I knew that there this is where weirdness and crazy turned into pure insanity. The center of the screen was a scary looking house and I can only assume that the girl that was facing off against me was some sort of busty witch. Apparently, the big breasted women of Japan had to resort to the black arts to get me to stop my insane desire to dress them up in tiny outfits, only to break in on them whilst changing. Anyway, I had to drop the pachinko balls into the center of the screen, and at that time I was a master ball dropper so it was only moderately hard. The craziest part of the action was when I did whatever I had to do and enlisted the help of God Almighty in several occasions to activate what had been “Fever Go!”  An angel would come down and make one of the scoring whole things gigantic, so I could drop hundreds of balls into it. In essence, God wants you to see this girl’s boobs. When I finally did get the girl in the buff it was the most undesirable thing I’ve ever seen. The girl was actually crying. Wow, that’s so hot to see a girl undressing and crying.

Ha-ha, you're going to jail for the rest of your life you pervert!

The ending has a lot left to be desired. Well, from what I can tell anyway. When you beat your last challenger all the girls gather together for some reason. Then the character, who I assume is the player, looks really sad. I don’t know why, maybe he realizes he’s a pervert and possibly a serial rapist.

Pachinko Sexy Reaction can’t really be called a game, because it’s more or less a slot machine with a little more control. If I rated it like it was a game, the rating would be pretty low. As an experience, I must rate it pretty high. I recommend downloading it (if you are the legal owner of the arcade machine of course) if you have the chance. The insane experience is not to be missed.

Score: 8.0

-Paul


The only time women can really get away with dressing like anime characters is on Halloween. This coming Halloween, find the sexy costume that you've been looking for. We've got more than just Halloween costumes, too! You can find St. Patrick's day costumes, Christmas costumes and an Easter costume or two as well!


Check out the Pachinko Sexy Reaction 2 review here!

 

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