Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of The Black Pearl

-Touchstone (2003)

Summary

This film is about a lot of dirty, dirty pirates who are cursed to steal more often that the usual dirty, dirty pirates. Plus, they turn into skeletons in the moonlight.

My Thoughts

Pirate movies, much like Westerns, have become a rare breed of film. There hasn't been a successful pirate film in years, especially since the advent of "Butt Pirate" jokes, the most detrimental thing to ever happen to a film genre. At least cowboys have escaped a homosexual stigma, or at least its been kept to a bare minimum. Regardless, I was a little leery about how good this film was going to be, because most modern pirate movies suck. That, and the film is based on a ride at Disney World. I also don't find pirates that scary or that interesting, but I was pleasantly surprised. The end result was a surprisingly good film, albeit with some flaws.

The cast is one of the better points of Pirates. Orlando Bloom, who I figured would never be in any film that wouldn't involve Hobbits in some fashion, performs adequately as the young hero figure. Johnny Depp, best known for his role as Edward Scissorhands in 21 Jump Street, plays a crazy pirate. Keira Knightley plays the hottest daughter of a British governor with the straightest teeth ever. Keira is best known for her role by geeks the world over as Sabe in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, which is another contender for the longest film name aside from Pirates. A notable mention goes to Johnathan Pryce and his great performance. In case you don't know, he’s known as the guy that talks about how great Infinity Q45s are.

Pirates has a couple of clichéd film moments, which are worth mentioning. The first occurs relatively early in the film. During the initial pirate attack, chaos and terror ensure as the pirates go hog wild on the townsfolk. Located within the shots of horror, there is the obligatory image of a small child crying without its mommy. I hate this, because it is in every single movie that features a crowd in panic. Please Hollywood, come up with something different. Later on in the film, there is a shade of Indiana Jones. It seems like whenever a man has a female prisoner, he will invite her to dinner, but first he will make her put on some sort of sexy dress for his disgusting amusement. Whenever this happens, the lead evil man always leaves a knife unguarded for some reason. Said knife will end up at his throat only moments later. Something to remember the next time I kidnap a female and serve her dinner.

My biggest problem with Pirates of the Caribbean is that I can't remember the plot, and I watched it only a few hours ago. It’s overly complicated with pirates, a curse of gold, a ghost ship, and a lot more pirates. Not to say the film isn't enjoyable, but it's no Casablanca. The curse story becomes pretty convoluted by the relationships as to who has to do what and why. The pirates have the gold, which gave them a curse that needs to be lifted by some blood of another pirate who is dead. They need to have the blood of a relative of that pirate and they think they have the right person but don't. The undead pirates strike a deal with their old Captain to find the right person... and this seems to go on for about an hour and a half.

Aside from my problems with the script its a pretty decent action adventure. The fight scenes are exciting and there is a good amount of humor without going overboard (Hah! Overboard!). The special effects are great. The seamless transition between zombie pirate to normal pirate at the end was very impressive, and worth watching the film just for that particular scene. Overall, I'd say Pirates is a good movie, and if it helps bring about a forgotten genre then more power to it. I don't think I'll be in line for Pirates of the Caribbean II, though.

Extras

This two disk set is PACKED to the gills (Hah! Gills!) with extras. I don't know anyone who would be a big enough fan to even look at most of this stuff, but it’s always better to have too much than too little.

To start off with, the motion menus were impressive because of their simplicity. I hate waiting for a menu to allow me to choose what I want to choose. If I want to play a film, I don't want to be stuck watching a fancy clip for two minutes and Pirates does not suffer from this in the least.

The first disc has both a Dolby Digital 5.1 mix as well as a DTS track which is awesome. And for those French speaking DVD enthusiasts there’s a Dolby 5.1 mix for them as well. A THX optimizer is also included.

I was impressed with the choices for audio commentary. There is not just one, but three sets of commentary. I love the fact that they gave all 15 writers a track of their own. It's not often that screenwriters get any more than a tiny credit for the making of a film.

The second disc is the meat of the extra content. Two of the most notable features were the making of documentary titled, "An Epic At Sea" and a feature on the lives of real pirates called, "Below Deck". "An Epic At Sea" is well worth a look if you’re the least bit interested in how films are made. "Below Deck" is an interactive feature that has you look around a pirate ship and learn some things about pirates. It’s no History Channel documentary, but it is entertaining in its own right.

The rest of the extras are a good watch, but are pretty much standard. I can only take so much making of the film before I grow bored. There wasn't much else of note except for a classic look at the ride called, "Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color", which is a must watch to see some good old sexism in action.

Score:

Film: 7.5

Extras: 9.0

Edition: 8.5

-Paul

Pirates of the Caribbean has single handedly brought back the popularity of the classic pirates of yore. The Curse of the Black Pearl has so many amazing costumes to wear for Halloween or your next costume party. Maybe you want to dress as Jack Sparrow or Will Turner in classic pirate adult Halloween costumes? How about getting some crazy Halloween masks and turning yourself into Davey Jones himself this year? And what about that scurvy dog of yours? You can dress your pet in pet costumes complete with an eye-patch and striped shirt to complete this Pirate theme!